your thoughts and touch i always feel
the bond we share, the pious seal
of trust and love and full of care
an undefined joy do we share...
with you everyday is sheer bliss
your breath, ur pulse and ur silent kiss
the nights are empty and always shallow
ur dreams i see and make dem follow
the simple and little things that u make
the truth in them, with pride i take
in your arms have i found my world
forever and ever..i am just "ur" girl !!!
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Life in America
When i first stepped out of DFW and hugged my best friend...teddy said to me..."you can deal with everything here is in USA but not loneliness ..." and i mumbled an unsteady "hmmm...."....just within a week's time when i was at his place...perhaps the safest and closest place to home in Dallas...i was hit by a sudden, sharp pang of loneliness and i began to cry...i didn't know why i felt lonely even when i was surrounded by so many people...and again he came up to me and said..."this is what will trouble you...this unanswered "why" "....dis time i precisely understood what he meant...!
There is this line in Fountainhead...when Toohey says "Every loneliness is a pinnacle"...something that i strongly believed but never felt...now in America i realise that certainly this loneliness is a pinnacle in my life...it is a scale indicating the things that i have left behind to achieve or pursue a distinct ambition....it is a calibaration of my strength and independence...i know that i am lonely and more still that i can handle it...
today as i sit in the corner of my room...and look at the world from here...i am amused. All my roommates are away partying elsewhere...and i sit here and pen this blog...this loneliness is self-inflicted...and yet i do not feel victimised...i do not feel troubled by the silence or absence of a banter...i infer that a despair and distressed feeling of loneliness arises when you feel you are being left out...here i have left my home country...i guess that is why i can welcome this feeling in my life...
this place...America...is meant to be quiet and lonely...if you are not one...it makes you one...
p.s.: Teddy...i have now understood what you said :) :)...but i am not sad!
There is this line in Fountainhead...when Toohey says "Every loneliness is a pinnacle"...something that i strongly believed but never felt...now in America i realise that certainly this loneliness is a pinnacle in my life...it is a scale indicating the things that i have left behind to achieve or pursue a distinct ambition....it is a calibaration of my strength and independence...i know that i am lonely and more still that i can handle it...
today as i sit in the corner of my room...and look at the world from here...i am amused. All my roommates are away partying elsewhere...and i sit here and pen this blog...this loneliness is self-inflicted...and yet i do not feel victimised...i do not feel troubled by the silence or absence of a banter...i infer that a despair and distressed feeling of loneliness arises when you feel you are being left out...here i have left my home country...i guess that is why i can welcome this feeling in my life...
this place...America...is meant to be quiet and lonely...if you are not one...it makes you one...
p.s.: Teddy...i have now understood what you said :) :)...but i am not sad!
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
In America...
everyday i get up and the first things on my mind generally are: i have to clean or cook or mabbe run away from the landlord or go out and do grocery shopping or visit a friend's birthday party or cook kosher food for the fast or plan and practice and participate in a cultural event or attend a seminar....i always thought that is was is queer because I haven't come to America to actually do any of it! I have come here to study to learn and grow...and i realise that academics features a lot below my priority list! Everyday i tell myself that once i settle i would begin to study...and funnily everyday owing to one or the other occassion i am unsettled :) :)...
But now when i look at all those tasks from a top view, i realise that they infact are in alignment with my basic objective...to learn and grow as a person. I never moved a spoon in my home country and here i cook exotic cuisines for about half dozen people...is that not learning? or maybe going to bank and checking your finances...something that my dad always did for me! basically i am learning new things...especially those things which i always took for granted! another change in outlook is towards health...in india health never featured on my list...i knew that if i am indisposed there is my mom to pamper me and take care of me..my sister would run and get medicines for me...but here i have to be extra cautious about my health...i don't have to independent in individual tasks but also in those team activities...!
in india all i had to do was study..and yet i used to crib about it...here with these gamut activities if i manage to scrape a C, i would be proud of myself...
As an F1 citizen in America, i have realised the importance of being a default citizen of my own country...and i have realised that i am indeed growing...knowledge and tact of leading a good and healthy life and more important than cracking absurd probability problems :) :)
But now when i look at all those tasks from a top view, i realise that they infact are in alignment with my basic objective...to learn and grow as a person. I never moved a spoon in my home country and here i cook exotic cuisines for about half dozen people...is that not learning? or maybe going to bank and checking your finances...something that my dad always did for me! basically i am learning new things...especially those things which i always took for granted! another change in outlook is towards health...in india health never featured on my list...i knew that if i am indisposed there is my mom to pamper me and take care of me..my sister would run and get medicines for me...but here i have to be extra cautious about my health...i don't have to independent in individual tasks but also in those team activities...!
in india all i had to do was study..and yet i used to crib about it...here with these gamut activities if i manage to scrape a C, i would be proud of myself...
As an F1 citizen in America, i have realised the importance of being a default citizen of my own country...and i have realised that i am indeed growing...knowledge and tact of leading a good and healthy life and more important than cracking absurd probability problems :) :)
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