a part of me

It has been 3 years... since I saw Mumbai wounded... 3yrs to the blood bath, betrayal, loss and infinite amount of grief... 3 yrs to the candle march, silent protests, unsolved problems... 3 yrs since I am paying tax to this castrated government for keeping a murderer alive...

how did i solve the problem...? I escaped...I just turned my back on my wounded city and escaped... I ran away to deal with another and newly evolved set of problems... and now after a year and half as I decide to go back to Mumbai, I can only but wonder... what does it look like now to stand at the Marine Drive and stare at the Hilton towers...what does it feel to sit at CST and sip coffee from Ram Pyare's stall... do the pigeons still gather to feast off the grains from hand... Mumbai has changed, I have changed... but Mumbai in me is still the same... I have never loved someone, as much as i have loved my city... my home which has given me unselfish protection, more than adequate attention, sense of joy, blissful solitude... an identification...

i can;t wait to rush back and hug Mumbai and hold her in my eyes... and get drenched in her charm... my Mumbai...

Summary of life in USA

A whole year has passed. and this hasn't been an ordinary year....it is the closure of my first academic &|| residential year in the United States of America...it is also the year when India won the world cup and Obama killed Osama! But in my case, it is more significant, because for the first time i have lived outside the comfort of my home all by myself. Also because I actually realised the importance of having great friends... the ones in India did a great job at holding me and anchoring me and supporting me and the ones here actually faced all the problems with me. No! i did not emerge as a meritorious student with medals of achievements...I have once again established my mediocracy...but in America!!! And that is a big deal...

I remember my first attempt at cooking (my rummates say : first attempt at murdering us)...all i did was follow the instructions..,take oil, heat it, put jeera, and then chilli...only i put chilli powder... {now all those who know how to cuk can guess wat happened}...there was smoke..some more smoke..and then lots of smoke...everybody within the 50ft of my apartment were coughing mad...but the best part was,,,my rummates Isha, Pri and Smi still ate watever I had cooked that day...and it was that moment when i realised...how lucky I am :-)

A few months in the US...i realised cooking and studying were least of my worries... I had to tackle bigger problems...accomodation...every month we lived under threat of being ousted from our abode (inspite of paying rent!!!)..and finally it did happen! in middle of october, we had to pack our bags and leave...a month and a half of separation...fortunately we found another house and it was good..this was d most difficult phase in my life...and also the best one! because all my friends came up and helped me sail thru...

they say u shud thank adversities...they tell u ur true frnds!!! well i shud thank this one...as i got a chance of staying with the bestest ppl ever... Gayatri Ritu Rutvij Varsha and Prafulla...all the happy, kind cheerful and genuine ppl...it was a roller-coaster ride...and yes of cos!! our mad boys at 2034... i remeber sitting in the closet and crying...and Rohit and Addy sneaking to watch me...then console me and then laugh at me :D :D :D

6 months, 3 apartments later...we got our own house...the 923!!! and den we had a rainbow (this is a metaphor! rainbow has 7 colors and we r 7)...yes wid the bigger apartment came bigger ppl :P :P :P... EKus Rini and Stuty joined us!!! and the roller-coaster has gone wild!!

many ppl told us dat 7 girls staying together wudn't work out..but thankfully (to me!!!) we did manage to make it work...and more than that make it work so well that we all are happy!!! this small family of 7 ppl here is the bestest thing ever...and again I can simply say that I am lucky...

so I may not be the best of the students here...but this place has lead me to being a better person...by giving me the company and friendship of such great(in size also :P :P :P) ppl... it doesn't happen to everyone and it is not that common and it is a big deal !!!

and yes...i can also cook very well now...ppl take second helpings :-)

Belonging!

Belonging! My favorite movie since childhood has been "Hum Apko hai kaun" and the tag line of that movie is "Every heart longs to belong". And how true is that!!!

All of us, are working so hard to always fit in a clique, rather belong to a group and have a common identity. I have hardly seen anybody who is a solely objective person, essentially dismissing any need to be a part of a group.

Back home (I just love to think of India, that way!!!), I had many friends and an awesomely large family. So I did belong to a cult (big word! but I did belong to a cult group :P :P), a group, a friend circle and family!!! and now I am here! in US of A.

Even here, I have the best of friends who are my roommates also. Nothing to complain about. But still, it doesn't feel like belonging to America. I still belong to India simply because all my friends are Indian. There is nothing new, that I know about America.

I am still in as much awe of the American culture as I was when I used to see the Hollywood movies. The only difference is, now I am on the locations ! I so definitely want to fit in this culture and understand and explore it. I want American friends, and taste American food and enjoy American parties, and I want it all to have a meaningful and everlasting impact on my life. I wonder if I will get this chance.

American friends here I come :-) :-) :-)