Battles Within

She wants to "Let go"
and yet i make her cling on
but I help her release

She says "Forgive me God"
and i convince her that she is wrong
But I tell her it never was an issue

She says "I wish I could...."
and i say that you never can
But I make her understand

She says "Why me..."
and i say "u r a victim"
But I say "if not you, then who...?"

She cries alone
and i say "see no one der wid u"
But I say "You are independent"

She fights and struggles
and i tell her "u'll lose"
But I heal her wounds
"i" am more important...
no "I" am more important...

They both fite wid each oder...

She simply rests her head in a deep slumber!

stupid story!

"You always say such things...why don't you just buzz off"...his last words to her. She kept on repeating them in her head as she took he bike and decided to go the auditorium. It was a crisp day with lots of sun and gentle breeze. She knew she was wrong...maybe she did expect a lot from him..but then...was it so annoying that he had to use those precise words. Maybe he didn't mean it that way she thot...Maybe what he meant was he was jst angry and needed some time alone...But what if...what if he meant every single letter...what if she was no longer good enough for him...what if she had ruined that beautiful thing so much that he wanted to kill it...

She just kept on thinking ...
"Maybe I am overreacting..."You think a lot unnecessarily "he says...Maybe that's what I am doing...this can be sorted out...we need to talk about it...bt what if...what if this can't be sorted out...what if he is just pissed off wid me for life...what if he doesn't understand...what if i continue to behave like dis and hurt him....what if things never change..."
"No...I have to stop thinking about it. I must concentrate on the part I am going to play. I can't be thinking of this...come on let's think about the part...how is the part going to be...happy? sad? what if...what if the character is just like me...what if even she is whiny...what if he hurts her to...what if...what if she becomes a utility in emotions...what if...what if her immaturity wrecks his life...what if i and she end up being the same...what if...."


"You always say such things...why don't you just buzz off" his last words to her. He kept on repeating them as he took his bike on the way to the hospital...

"Sumone take her to the hospital"..."no point!"..."she was racing like crazy..."

With every what if she raised the accelerator...she was driving at 100kmph wen she started...was it really worth it?

The need for speed

It's been quite some time...since i posted stuff dat wud mean sumthing (to me ofcos!!!)...n enuf of all the abstractions...cming down to hard core reality....

I purchased a bike -Krystal....ma frnd ankit said..."sounds like a dogs" name...n i said "who cares?"...bt come 2 think of it...my bike is like my pet now...i mean i am so much in love with it and i love every moment i spend riding it...a full tank, serviced bike, helmet on, and speed above 65kmph...life becomes a dream...just the oder day i took my bike and decided to not follow any particular road...i trusted my instincts to take me to the place that ws right for me...n so we went(dat is me n Toby(dats wat i call my bike)) ended up at nariman point..sumhw i m mentally stuck at that place....n it ws such a wonderful feeling...just as when i ws relishing the beauty of an open road and the roaring sea besides me...then did it begin to rain...n it was etheral...i felt as if i didn't belong to this world...i felt as if this is my life...undefined...the need for speed ushered in me...it was so magical...all thots, all tensions all seemed to fall behind, unable 2 catch up wid the pace of my excitement and happiness...and i looked around and saw everybody chasing and speeding up on that high road...

initially i always wondered why people need to ride/drive so fast...i thot mabbe there ws dis competitive streak of overtaking sum1...or a temptation that came wid the open(and well-maintained road!!)...and while that may true....for me the need for speed arises from the fact that mabbe (dis is just hypothesis)...ppl wnt their happiness n luxuries n excitement to be ahead of everything...sumwer speed is not an abnegation ...it is an escapism...bt then who doesn't wnt to run away??? and why not....run as fast as u can from ur prblms...have a companion like sea who cn alwez manage to stay wid ur pace nd be wer u r...have goals and aims like open roads, may they alwez entice u...and just rush to som destination...hurry....

it is just one life, afterall!


p.s.: thnx chinky!! u prompted me 2 write sumthing... :)...plssssss give ur honest comments!!

Quotes

The morning comes not unnoticed
And the night passes not unfelt
A day has gone and a day will come
Some cards of life have just been dealt
And just when I think this
A far away voice comes...

The showers of feelings have been poured
And in the angst of mind, all are drenched
The quest is still pulling me through
Incomplete thoughts and thirst unquenched
And just when I think this
A far away voice comes...

A dream like love and it's magic
All are surreal, none true
It was an encounter with a fog
and out of mist, I have passed through
And just when i think this
A far away voice comes...

A far away voice comes and says...

"It's okay to have gained and lost
than to have never gained
it's okay to have fallen and be hurt
than to have anyone pained...

it's okay to go loveless and wilt
than to have never bloomed
becase you think it is what you do
but it may never have been doomed

the roses in the garden are just for you
and so is the azure sky
the twinkling stars, the fairy winds
and the goodness that touches you by

Think not that you are ever alone
Because I am there for you my friend
And though I may not be in your vision
In me you begin and in me you end...."

love story

they walked hand-in-hand
towards the old wrecked place...
perhaps as old as themselves...even older...

the same wrinkles on the walls as on their face
the bricks beginning to fall...
and the patches of paint fading away

the furniture is broken and saw dust is feeding ants
the taps are rusted although water only dribbles now
the library is ancient and empty shelves

the china-patterns are long gone
and tea-cups have amputated ears
the tiles on the floor are chipped at places

the old furnace contains decayed logs
and the grandfather's clock is past dead
the half-torn posters taunt and mock

the small, tiny attic remains unchanged
it was always unkept, ugly and uncared...

they now stand before it...
and hear a distant hum...bulldozer
"i am sorry about your house" says their grandson
they nothing but keep looking...
she takes his hand...
"the house may be gone....but not the hand that made it...."

Hmmm....

some pearls have fallen
and the color has begun to fade
on the gift that brought smile
tears are taking shade


the letters are crumpled
but the smells still last
the lonely kerchief rests
a key to a beautiful past

the sea and the bench are still there
as happy and loving can be
steps just don't turn anymore
and memories don't flee

life is a product of deservings, may be!
so in loneliness it gets levelled
on all the hopes of love and longing
the dust has finally settled.